To Those Who Dont Understand My Favorite-Person Relationship NAMI: National Alliance On Mental Illness
Projecting extreme fantasies and desires onto a favorite person can create a constant feeling of being let down. This can result in being plagued by fear of abandonment, leading to unhealthy behaviors that eventually damage the relationship. Emotional dysregulation – many people with BPD have an ongoing struggle with managing their own emotions. Within the “favorite person” relationship, they are reliant on another person for validation and attention. This offers immediate relief from self-regulation but after some time it can leave them vulnerable to their own emotions and stressful situations.
Many people with BPD have a “favorite person” — this is the person they rely on. Unfortunately, while a favorite person can be a source of validation and support, these relationships can also be toxic for https://lovematchcritic.com/ both parties. It is entirely possible to have a healthy relationship between someone with BPD and their “favorite person”; over time and with deep understanding it can even promote healthier attachments.
Why are relationships hard for borderlines?
Reach out to a loved one, close friend, trusted peer or co-worker. I had a great first date, we have already planned our second. I am always nervous telling someone I’m dating that I have BPD. Should it be early on to get it over with, or should I wait for him to get to know me better?
Although this is not an easy ride, let them know they don’t have to go through it alone. People with FP often feel like they are not good enough and will be abandoned if they are not perfect. They may try to control your time and actions to make you stay close, often exhibiting manipulative behavior.
What It’s Like to Lose Your ‘Favorite Person’ When You Have Borderline Personality Disorder
Needing a constant supply of attention from the favorite person and going through what feels like withdrawal, when your favorite person isn’t there. There is a great comparison that when you have borderline personality disorder, you are like a puppy that doesn’t want its owner to leave. The favorite person is the owner that you are begging to stay. When they leave, even though you logically know that they’ll come back, you destroy everything and throw a tantrum. Then, when the favorite person returns, you act like nothing happened.
If you like gaming, make some gaming friends that you spend time with. You need to have other friends to help you balance out the intensity of putting all of your needs on one person. Switching between idealizing the favorite person and devaluing the favorite person, in the matter of seconds. Feeling a surge or jealousy when the favorite person spends time with another person or compliments another person. These 7 behaviors are red flags you shouldn’t tolerate.
I don’t like it, but I’ve learned to live with it and find healthy ways to cope. Together, my FP and I have worked really hard on communicating our needs and setting boundaries. Now, a relationship with the favorite person can be healthy… but first, let’s go through the more toxic relationships with the favorite person. Unfortunately, us living with BPD have a tendency to push away the person we see as our favorite person, especially because we feel such intense fear of abandonment. For more, you can write to us at or DM us on social media.
So if they choose to end the relationship, you need to establish no contact and some firm boundaries. Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
I kept on pushing, needing her to show she still cared. I’d apologize a lot in messages, endlessly, repeating, with the same result. I felt no care from her anymore, the thing I dreaded the most.
A way to help this is working on seeing our favorite person the same way we see anyone else. The next time your favorite person seems to make a mistake, say to yourself, “You are an imperfect human being just like I am and many others.” Perhaps, that can help us. If you’re living with BPD, an important part of treatment is finding the right support.
If you have borderline personality disorder, don’t get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives. I have so many fantastic and supportive friends, but I have a tendency to rely only on my favorite person.
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